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The kings and queens of England demonstrate how to remember them all, through the power of song.

Lyrics:

I’m William the Conqueror, my enemies stood no chance.
They call me the first English king, although I come from France.
1066, the Domesday Book, I gave to history.
So fat on death, my body burst! But enough about me.
To help remember all your kings, I’ve come up with this song.
A simple rhyming ditty for you all to sing along, ooooooh…
William…

(Bit short, innit? We need more kings. Who came next?)

William 2nd, cheeks were red. Killed out hunting, so it’s said.
I took over: Henry 1. That’s my next eldest son!
Then King Stephen. It’s true, check it. I, Henry 2, killed Thomas Beckett.
Richard Lionheart, that’s right, always spoiling for a fight.
Oh King John, what a disaster! Rule restrained by Magna Carta.

William, William, Henry, Stephen, Henry, Richard, John. Oi!
Time for my mate King Henry 8 to take up this song.

Henry 3 built the Abbey, Ed 1 hated Scots.
A red hot poker killed Ed 2; that must have hurt him lots.
Edward 3rd was a chivalry nerd, began the Hundred Years’ War.
Then Richard 2 was king aged ten. Then Henry, yes, one more!
King Henry 4, plots galore, not least from Henry 5, moi.
I killed ten score at Agincourt. Then Henry 6 arrived! (Wah!)

Edward 4. Edward 5. Richard the Third: he’s bad.
‘Cos he fought wars with Henry 7: first Tudor and my dad!
So Henry 8, I was great. Six wives, 2 were beheaded.
Edward the Sixth came next, but he died young and so my dreaded
Daughter Mary ruled so scary, then along came me!
I’m Liz the First, I had no kids, so Tudors: R.I.P…

William, William, Henry, Stephen, Henry, Richard, John. Oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich 2, then three more Henrys join our song.
Edward, Edward, Rich the Third, Henry, Henry, Ed again,
Mary 1, Good Queen Bess. That’s me! Time for more men.

James 6 of Scotland next, as English James the First, he led.
Then Stuarts ruled, so Charles the First, the one who lost his head.
No monarchy until came me, Charles 2; I liked to party!
King Jimmy 2 was scary, ooh, then Mary was a smarty.
She ruled with Bill; they’re shoes were filled by sourpuss Queen Anne Gloria.
And so from then, you were ruled by men.
‘Til along came me, Victoria!

William, William, Henry, Stephen, Henry, Richard, John. Oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich 2, then three more Henrys join our song.
Edward, Edward, Rich the Third, Henry, Henry, Ed again,
Mary 1, Good Queen Bess, Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then,
Jim, Will, Mary, Anne o’Gloria,
Still to come, it’s Queen Victoria!

And so began the Hanover gang! George 1 and George 2. (Grim)
Then George the Third was quite absurd. ‘Til I replaced old him.
King George the Fourth, and known henceforth as angry, fat and cross. (Hang on!)
It’s true, you beat Napoleon, but were mostly a dead loss. (Bang on!)
Old William 4 was a sailor. (Ahoy!) It’s nearly the end of the story-a.
As onto the scene comes the best-loved queen. Hail to Queen Victoria!

William, William, Henry, Stephen, Henry, Richard, John. Oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich 2, then three more Henrys join our song.
Edward, Edward, Rich the Third, Henry, Henry, Ed again,
Mary 1, Good Queen Bess, Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then,
Jim, Will, Mary, Anne o’Gloria,
George, George, George, George, Will, Victoria.
Victoria! Victoria! Victoria!

(I ruled for 64 years, you know.)

Ed 7, George 5, Ed 8, George 6, Liz 2 then reigned and how.
And so our famous monarch song is brought right up to now, ooooooh…

William, William, Henry, Stephen, Henry, Richard, John. Oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich 2, then three more Henrys join our song.
Edward, Edward, Rich the Third, Henry, Henry, Ed again,
Mary 1, Good Queen Bess, Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then,
Jim, Will, Mary, Anne o’Gloria,
George, George, George, George, Will, Victoria.
Edward, George, Edward, George 6, and Queen Liz 2 completes the mix.

That’s all the English kings and queens since William First that there have been!